Married in Mexico
Just a little background for those who have not been following our stories. 30+ years ago Mike and I met in Alameda, California and 6 months later we married, the rest is history. Fast forward to the fall of 2019, we moved to Puerto Aventuras, Mexico to retire in paradise. March 2020, our trip back to the states to visit the Mexican Embassy and start our paperwork for Permanent Residency was sidelined due to Covid-19. We spent the pandemic here in PA on a Humanitarian Visa. January 2021, we flew to Miami and started the Permanent Residency which we now have.
All good, except for one minor detail: during our move we lost our marriage certificate. Not a problem for our Permanent Residency, since we both filed on our own, instead of as a couple. Luckily a friend let us know that in Mexico we are not considered married unless we can produce documentation proving a marriage. Years of filing taxes and buying and selling property in the US, means nothing here. So, we either had to jump through the hoops to get a valid copy of our marriage license - which meant contacting the powers that be in Alameda, getting a form, taking it to the US Embassy to be notarized, sending it to California, pay for a copy to be made, notarized and DHL or FEDEX here all which meant time, research, calls, trips to Playa and money - OR we could get married again in Mexico.
Why is it important that our marital status be recognized in Mexico? If you cannot prove you are married and your spouse gets sick and you need to make medical decisions, you cannot do that without a proof of marriage. Worse, if your spouse dies and you cannot prove you are married, you have no authority to get possession of their remains. This is not something those on a visitor’s visa have to worry about!
I personally think part of our decision was based on what I call “Covid Boredom,” but when we decided to get married here a chain reaction took over. To be legally married in Mexico a couple has to go through a civil process: an application that must be signed by 4 witnesses that are unrelated to the couple and blood tests. Also, as with all things involving government authorities, one must provide legal documentation for all involved parties. We had the friends, everyone had the appropriate documentation and Mike and I both had blood.
Now it’s time to pick a date. More background: Mike and I have always done things on the 13th – both of us were born on the 13th, our first date was on Friday the 13th and our wedding anniversary is the 13th. He proposed on Halloween – the 31 - so we let that count. March 31st was coming up and it just so happened our friend Pablo’s band, Plagio, was playing at our friend Laura’s restaurant, Lolha. Perfect makings for a party! We may be in Covid-times but our small group of close friends have found a number of reasons to party and celebrate and this just seemed like one more excuse. It is how we have stayed sane through the pandemic.
For those of you considering getting married in Mexico – not a destination wedding type of event - but having a marriage that is recognized in Mexico, I will explain what you need to do. Step number one go to the office and get the application. In our case the office is directly across the highway in the Poblado, the same place you can get your driver’s license. The application needs to be filled out and signed by both parties as well as all four witnesses and returned with copies of IDs front and back. You also need to get your blood work done. We used a service that sent someone right to our house, drew our blood, took it to the lab and returned to our home a few hours later with the results, and the paperwork we needed to submit with our application. With all your forms and paperwork in order you return to the office and you make the appointment for your vows. You can do your vows at the office, or, for an extra fee, the judge can go to a location of your choice. Everything costs and be aware the price for Mexicans to get married is much cheaper than Non-nationals (extranjeros). We opted to pay to have the judge come to our condo.
I have to say this would all have been rather mundane if it weren’t for our dear friends and their ability to make everything fun! Before I knew it, this little wedding took on a life of its own. I had boutonnières borrowed from Amy and Oscar, a surprise veil ordered by our neighbor upstairs, Malena, and made by our neighbor nextdoor, Pat. Flowers and signs made by Jill, a tie for Manito from Carminia and more. We were also convinced we needed more than just a little civil ceremony at our house, so Pablo stepped up and planned another ceremony on the beach in Akumal, before he and his band played. Laura graciously agreed to allow us to use her property and to be in charge of facetiming so our grandkids could watch. Not wanting to make a ridiculous deal out of this and with Covid limiting the number of guests, we decided to keep it quiet and just include people who were coming to hear Plagio at Lolha, sort of a special surprise for those who could be there.
On the morning of March 31st, 2021 at 11am the judge showed up for our civil service. I have to say I was expecting a dry, legal document. Instead, she did a beautiful job and conducted the ceremony in for us in English. The words were beautiful and the loveliest poem was read. We signed and thumb prints were taken and then all our witnesses signed. Mike surprised me with a beautiful toast that summarized our 30+ years together. It was wonderful and with tears of joy we made a last toast and packed up to head to Akumal.
The seaside ceremony in Akumal tool place under the palapa near the pool at Hotel Akumal Caribe. With the grandkids on facetime and Pablo about to surprise us, I headed from my room, veil on, flowers in my hands, escorted by Pablo to Mike, who was waiting with friends under the palapa. Half way there we lost the internet connection, back to the room, Pablo set up a hot spot on his phone, Laura reconnected with the kids and off we went. The setting is one of our favorites, a spot we have called our home away from home for over 20 years. Pablo did a beautiful job with our renewal vows and as we kissed to seal the deal we heard strangers on the beach cheering us on.
On to Lolha for music, dancing, great food, drinks and a surprise wedding cake. Who could ask for anything more? Life is good in Mexico! The land where every event is a real celebration and true friends quickly become family! And old-time friends become gold! Here is to 30 more with the man I love in a place called paradise.