August 2019

August 1, 2019

So this is the month we’re going to sell our house and start our new adventure. Lydia had wanted a fast sale and long close, instead we’re going to get the opposite (we hope). As long as we sell the house soon, I’m fine with whatever closing period we’ll have. Of course, I say that now, but it it’s a really short period I’m sure I’ll be complaining on these pages.

We made our final approvals of photos, description and price so tomorrow morning the changes will take place in MLS and we’ll be off to the races. We’ll be OK with the new price as long as the realtors are right that we won’t have to negotiate much from there. We won’t have quite as much left over after buying in Puerto Aventuras, unless we find something for less than we think. I’m all for that, as long as it doesn’t impact our enjoyment of our new home, either in location, space or quality.

We’ve stripped the house down to the bare bones now. When I come down stairs in the morning it doesn’t even look lived in. I must say, though, that it does seem bigger and it’s certainly less cluttered. Funnily enough, taking up most of the rugs makes the floors look better. And the floors seem to be the biggest area of complaint. I think people, younger people especially, are so used to these “flip-type” renovation projects that they don’t understand when you change a house over time it might seem a little disjointed. As Lydia says, if we had done everything at once, we wouldn’t have known what to do. Doing it the way we did it gave us a chance to feel the house and grounds and figure out what needed to be done for us to fit in here. To me, this is home of the birds and squirrels and the trees, our job is to take care of it as best we can while we’re here.

August 2, 2019

I’ve done it yet again. This is starting to look like a pattern. Here it is Monday the 5th and I’m trying to remember Friday the 2nd. The good thing is that each day is different enough that I can usually piece the day back together. This was the day we went to the movies with old friends. We saw Tarantino’s new one, “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.” Lydia really likes his movies and I usually like them. This one, though, was overly long for me and a bit too much Tarantino being Tarantino. But it did capture 1969, which was the my high school graduation year - or would have been if I hadn’t gone away to school that year. The music was great. The story was good. I just don’t think it needed to be 3 hours long.

It was good to see Jamie and Lynn and Steve, though you don’t get to socialize that much during a movie. Steve is apparently a huge Tarantino fan and he didn’t think much of my critique. That’s pretty much what I remember of Friday.

August 3, 2019

Saturday was family day. Matt dropped Miles and Lyla off early on his way to an appointment, then he rejoined us after lunch. Lydia and I spent the morning in the pool with the kids. They were very mindful and we had no problems or outbursts. I must admit, though, Lyla’s jealousy bothers me. I know I should know better, having grown up with siblings, but when she wants something or wants to do something just because Miles is doing irritates me. I know she’s only 4, but I still think she should overcome the impulse. Lydia will of course remind me, “she’s a toddler!”

Matt arrived by himself, hungover, but in better shape than Lisa, as he put it. We had a great time. Matt described a tax idea he’d been researching. I don’t remember all the details. It involved installing solar power and buying a very expensive car. It made sense to me, but it also demonstrates just how convoluted our tax system is. More importantly, Matt is great with the kids. He plays with them, enjoys them and is affectionate. There usually isn’t much drama when he’s here with them. Lyla and her mom seem to push eash other’s buttons. Matt and Lyla not so much.

We ate burgers and dogs early and they were gone by 5 pm or so. Lydia and I binged several episodes of Empire before going to bed.

August 4, 2019

Lydia went to church with Sally while I did some chores. We watched a Diane Keaton movie on TV, entertaining but not memorably so, and then got ready to have Rich and Sally for dinner. We had a good time with them, as usual. I think because of the what happened this weekend (more in a minute) we kept the conversation pretty light.

This was a weekend of terrible tragedy. There were two mass shootings: one in El Paso that killed 22 people and another in Dayton claiming 9, I think. The El Paso horror was directed at an Hispanic population and was preceded by a racist, white supremacist posting online. This, it is increasingly evident, is who we are, the most homicidal society on the planet. Will this weekend be a tipping point? I’m tired of asking that question or of hearing it asked. Just as I’m tired of hearing that we need to take action against video games and the mentally ill. It has become increasingly clear with study after study that our rates of mental illness and our children’s addiction to video games is not different from other economically advanced societies. The difference, then? The avalanche of guns that have buried our society.

And people ask us all the time if we’ll be safe in Mexico?!!

August 5, 2019

It was a slow Monday for Lydia and it looks like her lessons are in decline. We did have a house showing, though, which made the day special. We’ll hopefully hear tomorrow how that went. I did my weekly golf course walk, though got run off the course by a foursome that appeared to be playing speed golf. Normally once I’m ahead of a group they can’t catch me. These guys kept on my heels until I finally had to get back on the street. One cart was flying an over-large American flag. I’m not sure what they intended to convey, but on the heels of a bloody weekend, I’m pretty sure that their message wasn’t one of unity.

We spent a lot of time watching TV coverage of the shootings and their aftermath. Many in the media seem to think this was different and that we’d reached an “inflection point.” We’ll see. Trump paid lip service to the evils of racism and white supremacy, but he’s done that before, only to turn on his heel the next day. I do sense mounting pressure on the Republicans in Congress, however. I am ever hopeful.

August 6, 2019

We had a surprise showing this evening, with less than a two hour notice. Of course I bitched about the time - 6:45 to 7:45 can’t be convenient for anyone - but hey, after such a slow start to the summer, showings two days in a row is a major breakthrough. Speaking of showings, we still haven’t heard anything about Monday’s showing - newsflash, people are inconsiderate. Our weekly report from last week did show that our one showings did result in “interest,” though probably not an offer. We keep plugging, trying to make the house show better, which means less and less like someone lives here.

Tuesday is Lyla’s day and she was hear in spades. We spent two hours in the pool this morning, mostly playing whatever games she wanted to play. One was a riff on the ditty “Baby Shark.” Lyla was the baby, Lydia the mommy shark and I was the daddy. We each had to sing a verse (even I can remember the words to this one) and then swim towards the others. This went on, like all toddler games, too long, but, at one point after I sang my part, Lyla pointed at Lydia and yelled “hit it!” Our 4 year-old director.

After the pool things started to go a little south for Lyla. I went to pick up our lunch - get this, a small, 4-piece, plain pizza, a cobb salad, a single meatball and half salad cost $43. Are you kidding me? - and Lydia stayed in the pool with the kid. But when Lyla got out all she wanted to do was watch what she calls “VVs,” youtube-style videos mostly viewed on Lydia’s phone. She’s mesmerized by them. At any rate, she was a definitely “soggier” than normal, which made us wonder if our moving is starting to sink in. Our house is her place, always has been. She mostly comes here by herself or stays by herself, without parents or little brother. She gets our two-on-one attention. But now the house is emptying out, she and Miles are even starting to bring their Bops and Gigi toys back home. It could be that our impending move is becoming more real to her.

August 7, 2019

So we found out today that the showing on Monday was cancelled, but no one told us and the app used to schedule home showings had not been updated by the realtor. I’m developing a pet peeve, joining the many I already cultivate, for realtors who don’t use the tools they have at their disposal. Jon, our listing agent, says, for instance, all a realtor has to do when they finish a showing is click a button in their app that tells us the coast is clear. Do they use it? No. Same goes for cancellations. And, most important, they also have tools to minimize the time it takes to provide invaluable feedback from a showing. Instead, they make the listing agent chase them around the block for that information, which sometimes we either get way too late or not at all. I have to say it: realtors suck.

August 8, 2019

Another showing.Yeah. We got feedback right away because Jon, the listing agent, was asked by another agent to do the showing. Apparently the prospective buyer has a budget of 1.2 million, but looked at our house because of the lot. That’s good, unfortunately the house does not present as a million dollar house. During the showing, since Lydia was gone with the car, I had to walk the neighborhood in 95-degree heat. That was warm.

Lydia’s aerobics class was cancelled due to lightning so we went to the new San Miguel restaurant nextdoor at Indigo. It was really good. A little loud, with high ceilings and cement floors, but we sat at the bar and ate. Food was very good, the bartender was nice and attentive and prices were great. I especially liked the price of draft beer: $4.50. That’s much less than the same beer at Sol, and the food was just as good, and more authentically Mexican. Yeah!

August 9, 2019

This is why I need to be more disciplined. I had a dream early Friday morning that had to do with Trump and the mega-rich who put him in office. But because I waited to long to write it down I’ve now forgotten most all of it. Damn. It was a good one.

After an uneventful day, Lydia and I joined Kathi and our friend Wendy for happy hour at the Rutledge Cab Company in Charleston. I have heard great things about this place over the years but we had never been. It’s one of Bill Murray’s 3 restaurants in town. Sad to say we were pretty disappointed. The happy hour deal is pitiful - $1.00 off booze, I think. The food was mediocre at best. And the bill for the two of was $90, including tip. And there really was nothing special about the place, either. We won’t be going back.

August 10, 2019

Today, Saturday, was one that needn’t be recorded for posterity. Lydia taught. I pulled weeds. We swam laps, floated in the pool and watched TV.

August 11, 2019

After Lydia got back from church we walked down the street to an open house. It’s a cute house that we pass daily that we always wanted to see. They had just reduced the price to 519. It’s very small. That’s all I have to report.

Bob and Ginny came over for a swim and dinner. We had a good time.

I think we’re entering a new phase of frustration with this whole selling the house thing. Up until now Lydia has stayed pretty busy with lessons. But those are now winding down with kids going back to school next week. For example, Monday has been her busiest day of the summer, but tomorrow she has only one lesson. Since I’ve stayed pretty busy with client work and moving Sac-Be to the new platform, I really hadn’t paid much attention to Lydia’s schedule. But she talked about it tonight and expressed some concern as to what she would do with her time the rest of the summer. Our original hope was that by August we’d be in the process of moving to Mexico. Since that hasn’t happened, she and I are in different places. I have stuff to do and don’t want to think too far ahead. But Lydia isn’t busy and is ready to start getting ready to move. It’s one more reason to avoid limbo, if at all possible.

August 12-18, 2019

I know. I know. This is disgraceful. I haven’t written for a whole week and it’s absolutely senseless to try to recreate each day. My memory wasn’t that good 30 years ago. So I’m just going to do an update on what I can recall from a pretty bad week.

I played golf, which, not surprisingly, would be the first thing I remember about a bad week. But actually, I was pretty happy with the way I played. Yes, I hit more than my share of bad shots, but I wasn’t as wild as the last time and I lost very few balls. We played at Dunes West, which, in my opinion, is a better course than Snee Farm and in much better condition. The only really bad thing about that day was the weather. Bob and I got soaked on the driving range and we never did dry out. Other than that, fun was had by all. At least as much fun as golf the way I play allows.

I guess the weather overall provided a pretty apropos backdrop for the week. I was overcast with intermittent showers all week. We didn’t have a lot of rain but it sure was wet for days.

The news on the house front is a little brighter. Not many showings but we did get our first positive feedback from a showing, though the people ended up being interested in another house. Even better, we had yet another open house on a rainy Saturday. We had no idea what to expect but we had nine “interested parties” through and all but one were very positive. The realtor who worked it said he was very encouraged and that there may have been a couple of potential buyers. We haven’t heard anything back from Jon yet, but expect to tonight.

One reason it was a bad week is that we had this meeting with restrictions committee of our HOA hanging over our heads like the sword of Damocles. We had the meeting last night at the country club and it was pretty terrible. I can’t go into specifics until we’ve heard something back from them, but as a tease, we were meeting about a $4500 fine (a lot of money to us) and two of the three board members showed up with cocktails. At least that issue isn’t hanging any more. More later.

Trump was on vacation this past week so things on the political front were a little less chaotic than usual. It does look, though, like an economic downturn is in the offing that’s caused Trump and his Trumpistas to start the blame game. This is really getting tiresome. Please someone buy our house.

The most depressing part of the week was that this limbo thing is really getting to us. We both so desperately want out!

August 19-23, 2019

I’m beginning to see a pattern here. Another week of not writing, but this time I really don’t have an excuse, so it could be that my daily writing idea is spiraling out of control. At least there were some memorable events this past week.

I guess first and foremost was that we did get an offer from the HOA. Essentially it said that while they won’t take responsibility for anything - and the booze was not mentioned - they are willing to settle for less in the way of a fine. Of course they’re forcing us to remove the house from the AirBnB platform, but we spoke with the Superhost rep who told us that if we took down our listings we would maintain our status for up to a year. So at least we don’t have to worry about that, just in case we decide to rent our new place in Puerto occasionally. The fine is now $3000, which is about halfway between the original fine and what we proposed. It’s high, but, I assume, it’s enough to make them feel like they’re making an example out of us. I have a lot to say about these people, but I think the answer is to write an article about the whole episode.

On the house front, we actually have someone interested in buying. That’s the good news. The bad news is that it’s a year ahead of their original plan. So we’ll see if the agents can figure something out. Otherwise, we had no showings this week. So it has now been two weeks since our last showing. Not a confidence builder.

I’ve made the decision - which doesn’t mean I’ll be able to pull this off - to try not to worry about the house sale, and, at the same time, also not to worry about finances. If i’m successful, the next however long will be much easier to bear. I’ll also be much easier to live with. It’s not in my nature to believe that “everything happens for a reason.” So this is a true test. So we’ll see how it goes.

Played golf with Bob again this week. On the driving range I tried standing closer to the ball when hitting my driver. It worked. So this was by far my best driving round. Of course that means that I wasn’t as good with my irons, but that’s golf. I did birdie the par 5 ninth whole at Charleston National, and I parred #11, which has always been a nemesis. Bob’s out of town next week, so I’ll make do with at least one day at the driving range.

August 24-25, 2019

So it was a partially rocky weekend. Nothing happened on the house front, which is precisely why the weekend started badly. The pressure is getting intense on us. Emotions are high and when we fight… You know how it is when people have been together for a long time? It’s easy to push the buttons. Too easy. Neither one of us is designed for the kind of situation we find ourselves in. We’re doers and while not control freaks, at least we like to be in control. This limbo just sucks. It’s driving us crazy individually and we take it out on each other when we’re not careful.

After entertaining Kathi and Wendy on Saturday night, drinking too much and getting into a fight, we decided to do absolutely nothing on Sunday. When Lydia came back from church we binged “Poldark,” watched a little golf and nothing else. It worked. We both had a good night’s sleep, which really helps.